Nellie's Calf

Once there was a cow
Nellie was her name
She had spoilt her calf
Wasn’t that a shame!

She took her for long walks
And sat down by her side
She fed her nice warm milk
Every time she cried

Nellie was devoted
To this calf of hers
The calf was fat and happy
With hair as soft as fur
One day a lonesome stranger
Bought Nellie for a quid
'You can keep the calf'
Well! She nearly flipped her lid

'I want my Mummy
No one else will do'
She stubbornly stuck her toes in
'I want to come too!'

The farmer spoke so kindly,
'One day you'll be a Mum
But I need to sell your Mother
For a rather hefty sum

For we just ain't got the money
To keep the two of you'
The calf sat down and wailed
'I'll die. That's what I'll do!
If I can't have my mother
I'll sit and sulk all day
And when I'm old enough
I'll tell the bull to go away
I won't have any babies
And I won't co-operate
I've got to have my Mummy
'Cause I was weaned too late!'

She sat there in the paddock
And cursed and kicked the ground
A lovely friend was given her
But she booted her around

'I want my Mummy
I told you that before
She gives me what I want
More milk if I want more

If I bellow loudly
She is always near
With a loving manner
And a listening ear'

The calf grew to a heifer
As wilful as could be
The farmer called her 'Touchy'
And kept his distance, wisely

He put her with the bull
'He will sort her out'
But often from the paddock
He would hear an angry shout

'I want my Mummy
Not children of my own'
But then a strange thing happened
This calf began to roam

She visited other calves
In paddocks full of gorse
Some with not much grass
Then she felt remorse

'Really, I am lucky
I may not have my Mum
But Farmer Brown is kindly,
He could sell ME for a large sum

He's put up with my wilfulness
Even given me a bull!
I have plenty of grass to eat
And my tummy's always full

Perhaps at last I'll co-operate
And do just as I'm told
Maybe I'm very lucky
That I too was not sold'

So Nellie's calf was gracious
And produced a fine young son
Who straight away was neutered
(But that's the way it's done)

And Farmer Brown is kindly
Even to this day
With his 'spoilt wee calves'
Who've been given their own way.

Mathew Chapter 6 verse 33

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